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Sunday, December 7, 2008

Do Harness Racing Folks Have Libido Overdrive?

Just an idle thought...

Thoroughbred race horses often have unusual names—those ubiquitous run-on monikers exemplified by Doremifasollatido, and even the occasional naughty Stud Muffin or Rock Hard Ten slips by the venerable old fogies at The Jockey Club.

Harness horse owners share this maddening habit of tactless naming, albeit sometimes it works astonishingly well, say with Somebeachsomewhere. However, it dawned on me today that harness racing owners must be particularly obsessed with sex.

I rarely bet the buggies as I hardly know where to begin to handicap them, but once on a whim I did win a bet on a horse called Sleaze Biscuit. Then today, Woodbine cancelled due to cold, so I surfed from track to track on Twinspires. I landed on race 3 at Flamboro Downs which featured filly and mare pacers—with risqué names like Hot Panties, Real Passion and Lucky in Lust. At Chester, there was Firm Woody and Proven Lover, then In The Bedroom at Fraser Downs, and at Saratoga, Bigbadbootydaddy and Willing And Abel.

Highly-sexed or highly-frustrated? Inquiring minds want to know. And, just wondering...who let’s these names get through in the Standardbred world? Is there no equivalent of The Jockey Club to protect the sanctity of the sport for goodly boys and girls?


Pull the Pocket said...

We've got Hot Panties, this is true.

But you guys have Chantal :)

Funny post Valerie. I liked it.

And yes, some risque names do slip by. Some of them I don't think we should be too proud of. I won't list those tho ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that there's a Rock Hard Ten in harness racing, too--raced at the Meadowlands last winter, I think.

I guess you can't have too many. ;)

James said...

Let's see, I've called the aforementioned Firm Woody (still an entire), Rock Hard Ten, and Proven Lover before on the harness side, along with Bikini Bottom and Thong, among others. Just so Peter Berry doesn't have to call a horse called "Far Cough", we're okay.

Anonymous said...

Aside from the names, let's not forget that the harness drivers spend the entire race sitting reclined and spread-eagle.

You might be on to something here.

Pull the Pocket said...

Congrats on getting the gig at Chester at such a young age James.

I think you are doing a good job, so keep it up!